Tania Carr

About Tania Carr

Posts by Tania Carr:

Heartbreak

Heartbreak

💔 You feel like your heart has shattered into a million pieces.

💔 A pain that you’ve never experienced before and it hurts like hell.

💔 You’re gasping for air, you feel like you can’t breathe.

💔 The tears are flowing non stop and you wonder if they’ll ever dry up.

💔 You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you’re barely functioning.

💔 You can’t get out of bed, you’ve found a sense of warmth and comfort there.

💔 Your kids see your pain, they are hurting with you, they wish they could take the pain away, “Mummy won’t stop crying?” This hurts you even more.

💔 Your bubble, and everything you’ve ever known inside it, has well and truly burst.

💔 What will become of your life then?

💔 The unanswered questions, the guilt, it drives you insane.

💔 A million scenarios are playing in your head, trying to make sense of it all.

 

💔 “Pleeeaaase come back”.

 

💔 Your heart is broken, but it’s not forever, I promise ❤️

T x

Time

Time

Through time we know the year, the month, the day, the hour, the minute, the second. From sunrise to sunset, from low tide to high tide due to the moon, this is all dependent on time.
 
Time measures special milestones, birthdays, anniversaries, welcoming a new bundle of joy into the whānau, as well as remembering and honouring those that have passed before us.
 
There are three stages of time – the past, the present, and the future, but the only time we actually have is the present.
 
Time is one of the most precious gifts we can give to someone, it teaches us the value of life. Relationships are made or broken depending on the amount of time you choose to invest. And the ones that suck your energy, create a boundary, spend less time with them so you protect your time and energy.
 
Time is a funny thing. It can seem to drag on when we’re bored, and yet it can fly by when we’re having fun.
 
Time is a teacher and a healer, sometimes the only way to get a new perspective on a situation or experience is to give it time.
 
No matter how well we manage our time, eventually we all run out of it.  Time is the one thing that you can never get back, once it’s gone, it’s gone and none of us knows how much time we have on this earth.  
 
The only thing that is equal in this world is time.  Everyone has the same 24 hours a day, 1440 minutes a day, 86,400 seconds in a day.  The only difference is how we choose to spend our time.  Netflix? Scrolling? Studying? Working? Loved ones? Sleeping? Partying? Wrong crowd? Traveling? Your choice!
 
If you want to know the importance of time…
⏰Ask a woman in labour
⏰ Ask a student who’s studied for 5 years and just failed an exam
⏰ Ask a rugby player when their teams are a draw and there’s 3 mins left on the clock
⏰ Ask a sleep deprived mum who’s about to take a well deserved nap
⏰ Ask an Olympic sprinter who’s aiming for a world record
⏰ Ask a millionaire who’s on their death bed who knows he can make plenty more money but can’t buy more time
⏰ Ask a daughter who’s lost her Dad and wants one last dance, one last hug, one last word
⏰ Ask a parent who’s lost a child 
 
So, use your time wisely and make the most of every moment.  Live life to the fullest and pursue your dreams.
 
❤️ Say the things that need to be said
❤️ Do the things that need to be done
❤️ Go to place that need to be gone to
❤️ Help the ones that need to be helped
❤️ Hug the ones that need to be hugged
❤️ Love the ones that need to be loved 
❤️ Be the person you want and need to be 
 
Life is waaaaaayyyyy too short.
He pai rangi tahi – seize the day.
 
Tx
There's only one YOU

There’s only one YOU

I don’t know about you, but a lot of us try to be everything to everyone and do ALL the things!
I’ll admit, I’m definitely guilty of this.
 
Don’t get me wrong, it’s all good to strive for what you want in life, but please remember there’s only one YOU, and you need to look after you too.
 
We don’t need to try and be super human all the time.
Super mum, super wife, super partner, super business women, super cleaner, super chef, super put together, super snatched… and the list goes on.
 
If we keep doing ALL the things, without taking into consideration what’s actually important to us, and
what fills our cup, it can lead to overwhelm, resentment, mental and physical exhaustion.  No-one wants a burntout you.
 
So, get out of the house, spend time with those that bring you joy, do things that bring you joy.  Walk, workout, go to the awa or moana, eat yummy soul food, sleep in, have a nana nap, go for a massage, get your nails done, travel, dress up, dress down, turn the music up, dance.  Save the cleaning for another day, set boundaries, say NO when it’s called for.
 
To help yourself, you must help yourself.  Put yourself first, make YOU a priority, take care of yourself and love yourself.  The privilege of a lifetime is being who you truly are.
 
We get one life, make it count, live life for you ❤️
He pai rangi tahi – seize the day!
Be the lighthouse

Be the lighthouse

Lighthouses represent strength and resilience. They are built to withstand the harshest of conditions.
 
Lighthouses represent safety and shelter.  A safe place to be in the heart of a storm.
 
Lighthouses represent hope.  The first sight of a flashing light on the horizon will tell you that all is not lost.  
 
Lighthouses represent navigation. Guiding you through difficulties.
 
Lighthouses represent selflessness. Making sacrifices for the greater good.
Our job as parents and role models is to be there to guide our next generation through this journey called life, to light their paths.  Although ultimately the choice is theirs, you can light their paths as bright as possible for them.
I’m a true believer that those who have the ability to hold space, to make an impact, to make change, ultimately have a responsibility to do so.  
I have learnt that healers don’t necessarily have to heal anyone, anyone that is but themselves, and in turn they empower others to do the same.
With Real Talk I absolutely knew this was my calling, this was my passion, this was my purpose in life.  To be the tallest, strongest, brightest, inextinguishable lighthouse for our rangatahi and beyond.
Being kind to those around you makes you a lighthouse in the truest sense—others will look to you for direction. Stand in your mana, stand strong and proud, but please don’t hide your light. You might just be the lighthouse needed in someone else’s storm.
 

I have had soooooo many lighthouses in my life, too many to name.  Please know that I am truly grateful for you all.  You are the reason why I do what I do, you helped me in my time of need, and it is now my mission to do the same for others.
In life, sometimes it can feel like it’s just you against the world.  Please know that we are watching, we are inspired, we gain power and energy from the path that you are lighting, just by being you.  
May you find and become the lighthouse.
T x
Be Present

Be Present

My moko was asking me question’s the other day, and I was “busy” so I didn’t really hear him. I was too focused on the email on my phone and he ended up walking off.
 I was not present, and I feel really stink about that.  So this one’s for you Riv ❤️
 
Be present, focus on what’s right in front of you… More importantly the PEOPLE right in front of you, not the things, or the “to do” list.
 
Being present simply means experiencing your life in a higher, more intentional state of awareness. You pay attention. You are aware of your senses, your surroundings, your words, and more importantly the PEOPLE around you.
 
Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed with thoughts of “what, when, why, how, who, what if”.
 
Focus on simply living in the moment, instead of analysing it or trying to find the meaning of it.
 
Anxiety and worry often comes from the fear of what will happen, or replaying past scenarios in our mind that didn’t quite go as we anticipated. Regretting, re-thinking or being triggered by what has passed. So, we are living in the past or future state of mind.
 
You don’t have to solve all the problems of the world at once.  Your response to the present moment is the only thing that you can control.
 
Let your mind be at peace and just… be present.
 
This is where the calm comes from. By being present, we are paying attention to the present moment.
 
The present – that’s why they call it a gift x
 
P.S. – Yesterday I picked up my moko from daycare and I apologised for not listening to him 🤍
 
#reaktalknz
inner child

Inner Child

Everyone has an inner child that represents our earliest experiences and emotions.This inner child can embody both positive traits (playful, happy, excited) and negative traits (hurt, confused, scared).

I learnt as an adult that there was a little girl inside me who didn’t get the emotional support she needed as a young child.  She experienced some extremely painful, scary and traumatic things, things that no child should ever experience.  A lot of these emotions and memories were locked away in a deep dark space inside my mind.

Many adults don’t think that their childhood has an impact on them later in life, but it definitely does.  Just look at the numerous people struggling with mental health issues and addiction. I’m a strong believer that many of them are battling with a dysfunctional or traumatic childhood that they haven’t really dealt with at the core level. They’ve been numbing themselves, to cope with it all.

If you’re feeling the pain of an inner child that has been hurt, there are steps that can help you begin to heal. Taking the time to acknowledge and reconnect with this vulnerable part of yourself is the first step in a journey towards healing. I have personally experienced the benefits of healing past wounds and trauma, and it has been life changing for me. 

 

Things you can say to your inner child…

 

  • IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

“Dear inner child, you have struggled with hatred and shame, but it’s not your shame to carry.  You didn’t do anything wrong and none of what happened to you was your fault”

  • I’M SORRY

“Dear inner child, I’m sorry for what you experienced growing up. My actions, such as ignoring or suppressing feelings may have contributed to your pain and for this, I am truly sorry”.

  • YOUR VOICE MATTERS

“Dear inner child, i know that you’ve been trying to get my attention. I know that when I tried to keep you quiet, it must have hurt you deeply and made you feel like your voice didn’t matter.   But it does matter, and I’m fully listening now, I hear you loud and clear and I am here for you.  This is a safe space”

  • YOUR PAIN IS YOUR SUPERPOWER

“Dear inner child, you’re a survivor. Despite feeling scared and alone, you persevered. You’re brave, a warrior and a true wahine toa.  You’re using your experiences and your voice to help heal yourself and to help heal others.” 

  • I APPRECIATE YOU

“Dear inner child, I appreciate you for being so resilient and courageous. Thank you for being you, even in the toughest of times. I’m grateful for every part of you – the strength and courage, the wisdom and protection.”

  • I LOVE YOU

“Dear inner child, I love you. You may not have felt loved at times when you were little but please know that you have ALWAYS been loved. I am here to love and support you, unconditionally”

  • YOU ARE ENOUGH

“Dear inner child, you are sooooo worthy and you are always enough. Stop basing your decisions on others or trying to please them.  Your wants and needs are absolutely valid”

  • WE’VE GOT THIS

We are learning to work together, getting the best of both worlds.  Little me wants to be free, happy, have fun and play and other times I encourage her to chill and let adult me handle things.

  • RELEASE

“Dear inner child, you can release the past. You can let go and live in the present with peace, love, happiness, safety and freedom.”

 

Not everyone can do their healing work on their own.  Deep, emotional work like this can bring up very powerful feelings, especially if you have been suppressing them for years. Give yourself permission to reach out for support if you need.

T x

#realtalknz

I Am A Lesson-2

I Am A Lesson

, ,

I am a lesson, I will help you to open your eyes to what is possible in this life of yours.

I’ll help connect you with your passion, your inner drive, you’ll realise nothing can stop you when you’re driven by passion.
I’ll help you identify your why, the reason why you do what you do.
I’ll help you see that you can be abundantly happy, all by being authentically, unapologetically you.
 
I’ll help you break down those limiting beliefs that hold you back from moving forward.
I’ll help you smash through any obstacles – mental and physical.
I’ll help show you that you don’t need a degree in business or life to do it.
I’ll help open your eyes to the limitless potential you have and how easy it can be to achieve it.
I’ll help you drown out those thoughts of unworthiness.
I’ll help you tone down the words of the haters, so you don’t give a f*ck what others think.
I’ll call you out when I see recurring patterns that are affecting your ability to achieve your desired outcome.
I’ll be a safe space for you to share – without judgement or expectation.
I am a lesson, it’s up to you as to when you’re ready to receive it ❤️
A Girl, A Woman

A Girl, A Woman

A young girl felt unseen, unheard and unworthy.

An abused girl, kept her mouth shut.

A damaged girl didn’t want to be here anymore.
 
 
A scared girl jumped out the window, ran for freedom and never looked back.
 
A curious girl got knocked up at 16 years old.
 
A determined girl raised a baby.
 
 
A wise woman packed up her stuff and said “This f*d up sh*t ain’t for me”.
 
An independent woman created stability and financial freedom.
 
A busy woman had a rest.
 
A broken woman chose to heal herself and in turn heals others.
 
 
A confident woman stands up for what is right and is a voice for the voiceless.
 
A grieving woman questioned life.
 
A strong woman created boundaries and chose to live life on her terms.
 
 
A fulfilled woman gives and gives because she can.
 
A loving woman builds and shares connections.
 
A spiritual woman sees the world for what it is, and trusts what will be will be.
 
 
A content woman is a wife, a mother and a nanny.
 
A grateful woman is happy and blessed beyond her wildest dreams.
 
A selfless woman is leaving behind a legacy.
 
T x
I Am Busy

I Am Busy

Sometimes you see me running around like a headless chicken, because I’m busy doing ALL the things.

 
Sometimes being busy keeps me from thinking about things I don’t want to think about.
 
Sometimes being busy keeps me from doing things I don’t really want to do.
Sometimes I feel guilty for being busy, doing things that don’t even bring me joy.
 
Sometimes you’ll hear me say, “sorry, I can’t make it” because I’m busy.
 
Sometimes I’m not even busy, I’m just really anxious and tired, so I make out that I’m busy because I need a break.
 
Sometimes I need to stop myself and force myself to take a breath and be present.
 
Sometimes people remind me to slow down, and at times, I hear them and do that.
 
Sometimes I hide behind my “busy” facade, because it keeps me safe.
 
You feel sad for me, because you know I’m too busy.
You stop asking, because you think I’m too busy.
You feel disconnected from me, because I’m too busy.
 
Sometimes I give too much, because I’ve actually been too busy, and I’m literally exhausted.
 
Sometimes we are so busy being busy that we forget what’s important in life.
 
He aha te mea nui o te ao?
He tāngata, he tāngata, he tāngata!
 
What is the most important thing in the world?
It is people, it is people, it is people!
 
You can choose to stop being busy, make time for the people that are important to, and be present.
 
T x
 
#realtalknz
Be Like Mint

Be Like Mint

,

Mint is probably one of the most resilient things you could ever grow. ⁠

⁠
Most people warn you to plant it in a pot or a tyre, so it doesn’t ‘take over’. ⁠
⁠
Plant it in the ground somewhere and it will go deep and sprout new plants in all sorts of places, even in the cracks of concrete. 🍃⁠
⁠
Mint is resilient.
Mint wants to survive.
Mint doesn’t give a fuck where you wanted it to be, it finds an opportunity and it thrives. 👏 ⁠
⁠
Don’t let people put you in a pot and decide where and how you can grow. ⁠
⁠
Grow where it makes you happy.⁠
Choose your direction.⁠
Fuck what they think you ‘should’ be, do and have.⁠
Be like mint 😎⁠
⁠

T x

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Be Like Mint
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