Transformational Coaching

Turn Your Pain Into Power

Turn Your Pain Into Power

Turn Your Pain Into Power

Let’s be honest, we all have skeletons in our closet, but most of us are scared shitless to let them out.  For fear of judgement, for fear of guilt, for fear of embarrassment, for fear of putting others in a place of being called out for what they really are.  Whatever the reasons may be, those skeletons stay locked tightly away in the closet.  Continuing to eat us up on the inside, continuing to trigger us, continuing to affect our relationships with self and others, continuing to hold us back.  It is a sad but true reality for so many of us.

Turn Your Pain Into Power

The thing is, we should be using our story to free ourselves from the weight that quite often weighs us down and holds us back. We should be utilising our voice to not only help ourselves, but to also recognise that is there is a massive power in telling our story to initiate change, to literally change someone’s life, and to add value to your own life through doing so.

We all have a story. Your story is not worse than mine, nor is it better. You see, we shouldn’t be comparing stories and compartmentalising them into categories of better or worse. It is important to remember it is OUR story and it has helped to shape us into the people we are today. It has helped to shape our values, our beliefs, our morals. We are the product of our story.  Be that right or wrong, we are the product of our story.

In November 2019, I took the stage for the first time and told my story. The good, the bad, and the ugly. A story that I had locked away for so many years, because of the fear of people perceiving me for something other than what I had worked so hard to create.  Perfectionism is a word that I would use to describe the woman that I strived to be.  And I am sure, if you are reading this and you know me, then you would agree with that word too.  Other words that come to mind are strong, powerful, relentless, demanding.  My family would say I am a bossy b!+@#

Turn Your Pain Into Power

The person I am now is sooooo different to the person that stood on that stage. I am now living and breathing my true self, and on a journey to share the message far and wide.  I turned my pain into power, the power to help me heal, and the power to help others heal too!

The words that come to mind now when I describe myself are strong, powerful, caring, giving, loving, genuine, kind, generous, mindful and in touch with my emotions. 
My family would now say I am WOKE!

It is time for us to stop sweeping things under the carpet, it is time for us to stop wearing the shame, the shame that is NOT OURS TO CARRY.

Turn Your Pain Into Power

My challenge to you, is to tell YOUR STORY! Find someone that you trust to listen to you without judgement, who will hold space for you and allow you to step into your true self and embrace the freedom that telling your story will create for you. In the hope that you can relieve yourself from the burden of carrying that weight any longer, free your mind, free your body and free your soul.

When I am presenting I often refer to the term “Be the lighthouse” I live and breathe by this motto.
Throughout my life, during my darkest days, I look back and remember there always being someone that came along, in the right place, at the right time to shine their light and guide me through the darkness.  I will be forever grateful for the unconditional love and support I received from those that ‘saved me’ from the depths of despair. 
So now it is my mission to “Be the lighthouse”, to guide others through their darkness, in their time of need, and I will continue to encourage others to do the same.

Turn Your Pain Into Power

If you haven’t heard already, Siobhan Samuel and I created Real Talk NZ.  The Real Talk platform has been created to motivate, encourage and inspire others.  To show that it doesn’t matter where you come from, it’s about where you CHOOSE to go.

Our tagline is Real Talk. Real People. Real Stories.

We have had some incredible wāhine share the stage.  They turned their pain into power, to support the kaupapa of sharing with our audience – it doesn’t matter where you come from, it’s about where you CHOOSE to go.

We had our O.G Wellington Real Talk wāhine, to which I will be eternally grateful for.  It really was like a spiritual awakening that night, you could feel the wairua in the room, guiding us safely on our journey.

  • Makaia Carr
  • Summer Brons
  • Greer Perenara
  • Larissa Carlson – The Leo Style
  • Elise Niu

And more recently we had our Tauranga Real Talk wāhine, which continue to drive our kaupapa forward.

  • Nicola ‘Nix’ Adams
  • Summer Brons
  • Vanessa Goodson
  • La’sasha McCutcheon

We are now in the process of planning our Real Talk events for 2021, so stay tuned!

Web: www.realtalknz.co.nz
Facebook: @realtalknz
Instagram: @real_talk_nz

Real Talk – Tell YOUR story and change YOUR life!

Turn Your Pain Into Power

NZHerald - How Kiwi mum, Tania Carr, went from living in a state house to being a CEO

NZHerald – How Kiwi mum, Tania Carr, went from living in a state house to being a CEO

“When Tania Carr drove from the bottom of the North Island to start a new life in Auckland at 21, she never knew it’d lead to a blossoming six-figure corporate career.

As a solo mum with no qualifications, but searing passion, Tania went on to manage multi-million-dollar companies. The mum of three, now a business entrepreneur, is a Kiwi success story.

But things weren’t always so glistening for the Titahi Bay local. “All my life, I’ve worked damn hard and built a really good reputation in executive roles,” Tania says. “But I used to want to hide my background in case it affected how people saw me. Now, I know it’s all part of my story, and I want other women to hear it.”

Tania, 43, was raised in Cannon’s Creek, Porirua, in a state house with five younger sisters. Gang members came and went, and there were regularly parties and violence, and it wasn’t abnormal for her father to serve prison time.

“I lived in that whole low socio-economic environment with drugs and alcohol,” she recalls. “I saw things no child ever should, like women dragged by their hair over gravel roads and bottles smashed over heads.”

“I use to think it’s the way you’re raised that determines your personality, but it’s not.”

Part of the trauma Tania now speaks openly about on her podcast, The Coach Carr Channel, is childhood sexual abuse. She explains, “It’s taken me a while to accept that some of the uglier sides of my story needed be told too because every experience has shaped who I am today. I could’ve been another statistic, and I want women to see they don’t have to be.”

From an early age, Tania dreamed of escaping her hometown for bigger things. “I used to sit on the back porch and pray my heart out for some kind of miracle,” she shares. “I’d try and telepathically communicate with the neighbours, hoping somebody would ask if everything was ok.”

She left home for the first time at 15, escaping her bedroom window one night. “My boyfriend’s aunty knew some of what was going on at home and said I could go there. That was my olive branch.”

But gang associates soon started door knocking to find her and so Tania moved on, accepting an offer to stay with a local woman trying to make it as a singer. “She needed a live-in babysitter, so I took care of her kids. We ate potato skins I’d peeled because that’s all we had. We were as poor as anything, but at least I was safe.”

A year later, at sixteen, Tania found out she was pregnant.

“I had my beautiful daughter Shaianne, now 25, but things with her dad eventually ended,” Tania tells. “I got into some abusive relationships and thought, ‘I can either go down the same track and be like the environment I grew up in, or I can choose to provide my daughter with a better life’.” She enrolled in a business computer diploma at 18.

“Over summer, people on my course asked what part-time job I’d get, and I hadn’t ever thought about it,” she laughs. “My parents didn’t work, and I was like, ‘Ok, is this what you do?'”

She landed her first job at a women’s fashion retailer chain, as a casual. “I just fell in love with retail, and when they offered me a permanent assistant manager’s position, I left to study,” she enthuses. “I learnt so much, and the environment shaped me as a person. It taught me right from wrong, and I thrived.”

At 21, a colleague asked Tania if she wanted to move to Auckland with her. “My work transferred me to a huge beast of a store, and our house was on the other side of Auckland,” she remembers. “Shaianne and I got up at five in the morning to commute, and a taxi picked her up for school, which enabled me to work. I cranked up the credit card with the rides and all my gas.”

Then the company made Tania store manager, followed by regional training manager and later, regional manager for Wellington. By mid-20 Tania, “the little girl from Cannon’s Creek”, was national manager for all of New Zealand, paying off her credit cards and saving thousands of dollars for her first home.

She left after 10 years, before being snapped up as regional manager for three high-end jewellery brands. “I had a lot of control and worked there for nine years. Then I decided it was time to have a baby.”

Throughout her pregnancy, Tania relished the idea of being a stay-home mum, who’d take her baby to pilates and enjoy coffee dates. “Man was I wrong!” says Tania, who developed postnatal depression after the birth of her daughter Ryleigh, four. “I had a really challenging baby, put on a tonne of weight and just didn’t cope. I’d shut the curtains and pretend I wasn’t home when people came over and spent days crying.”
When she welcomed her son Kayden, two, Tania was still in a dark hole and admits, “I’d completely lost myself.”

It was a visit from her sister-in-law, leading social media influencer Makaia Carr, which helped Tania get back on her feet.

 

“Makaia was worried and said, ‘Come on, we need to get you back!’ and over a wine I told her about my dream to run a recruitment business. She said, ‘Well, let’s do it!’ and after she left, I stayed up brainstorming and planning. I felt my business mind coming back and was so excited!”

Over two years later, Tania is now the owner of The Recruitment Hub NZ and her newest venture, The Coaching Hub, having qualified as a transformative coach.

“I’ve absolutely found myself again, and my work aligns with my passion, which is helping people. I use to question why I was working so hard, but now I understand I did that groundwork so I could be here.”

This Saturday, Tania will share her story at Real Talk, an event she co-founded with friend Siobhan Samuel. Taking place in Wellington and streaming live online, it includes stories from a panel of other inspiring women including Greer Perenara, wife of All Black TJ Perenara, and Makaia Carr.

“The whole kaupapa is if we can change one life in the audience, we’ve done our job,” Tania smiles. “I started healing when I began telling my story, and that’s the message I want to send out. I’m proof that regardless of where you come from, it’s where you choose to go.”

DO YOU NEED HELP?

If you’re in danger now:

 

• Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you.
• Run outside and head for where there are other people.
• Scream for help so that your neighbours can hear you.
• Take the children with you.
• Don’t stop to get anything else.
• If you are being abused, remember it’s not your fault. Violence is never okay.

Where to go for help or more information:

• Ngā Wai a Te Tūī Māori and Indigenous Research Centre and the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse are partnering to provide information on preventing and responding to family, whānau and sexual violence during COVID-19.
• Shine, free national helpline 9am- 11pm every day – 0508 744 633 www.2shine.org.nz
• Women’s Refuge: Free national crisis line operates 24/7 – 0800 refuge or 0800 733 843 www.womensrefuge.org.nz
• Shakti: Providing specialist cultural services for African, Asian and middle eastern women and their children. Crisis line 24/7 0800 742 584
• It’s Not Ok: Information line 0800 456 450 www.areyouok.org.nz

Credit – NZHerald – 28 July 2020

Do You Choose Happiness?

Do You Choose Happiness?

Will we ever be truly happy?  We convince ourselves that life will be better after we grow up, when we meet our significant other, when we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we get frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough, and life will be so much easier when they are.

After that, we get frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. Surely we’ll be happy when they are out of that stage, right?

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when we get that dream job, or upgrade our car,  or when we’re able to go on that tropical holiday,  or when we retire.

The truth is, there is no better time to be happy than right now!

Covid has come into our lives and really tested us, it has made us re-evaluate what is important to us. It has pushed us to our limits, out of our zone of genius, and in to our comfort zones…..that we need to get ourselves out of again.

Your life will always be filled with challenges, and sometimes you will feel like you’ve just overcome a massive hurdle only to be confronted with yet another!

If you can accept and acknowledge this, be grateful for what you have, and decide to be happy anyway, then you are winning at life!

So, stop waiting until you lose weight, until you gain weight, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Monday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until Summer, until Winter, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink…. there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Treasure every moment that you have, and remember that time waits for no one!

And for those that need to hear this…… you CAN’T rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth.  Only you can be responsible for that.

If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen.

You will be truly happy when you accept yourself for being… well, you!  That’s right, you will be happy when you accept yourself for being YOU! 

Completely – the good, the bad and the ugly.

Stop trying to live your life to impress your mother, your father, compete with your sister or your brother.  Stop trying to live a certain lifestyle because you think someone else wants you to live that way, or you are trying to keep up with the Jones’!

I love this saying;

“Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt,and dance like no one’s watching.”

 

Happiness is a choice, and it’s YOUR choice.

So, what will you choose?

-Tania

Tania's Top Tips for Coaches in Business

Tania’s Top Tips for Coaches in Business

Maximise YOUR Business

There are a million and one resources out there to help you establish a successful business. Here are some tips and tricks that have helped ME along the way, and I credit my success to the following:

 

  1. BE YOU! YOUR UNIQUE SELF

People buy from people, right? When clients are looking for a coach, they are looking for someone that is the ‘right fit’ for them. You need to be your unique self so that your clients know exactly what they are to expect from you. If you try ‘faking it ‘til you make it’ you will be found out pretty quickly in this business. Word of mouth is a huge marketing tool, and if you are being your unique self, you will attract and retain your ideal clients, and your business with continue to blossom and grow!

 

  1. YOUR GOALS NEED TO BE FRONT OF MIND

I believe in the power of positive thinking and manifestation. I reckon a lot of success comes down to your ability to set goals and KPI’s and to constantly review them so they are ALWAYS front of mind.

FIRST, set goals for your business starting with long term goals, then break it down to medium and short-term goals that will help you to get you there.

Don’t just write a business plan at the start of the financial year, then file it away until the next financial year, review your goals regularly. Know exactly what it is that you want to achieve and put actions and strategy in place to make sure it happens. Chunk it down into quarterly goals, then monthly, and then break it down to weekly to ensure you are heading toward your goal.

If you need a coach to help to set your business goals and hold you accountable: BOOK ME.

 

  1. CREATE A STRONG BRAND

Have a recognisable brand, from your logo, your colour palette, your content, your message and YOU if you are selling YOU!

You need to market yourself, and I know some of us cringe when we think about this, but it needs to be done! Otherwise you are having a party, but not inviting anyone! What kind of party is that?!

If you need help to create a STRONG BRAND, check out our branding packages.

 

  1. KNOW YOUR TARGET MARKET

You NEED a well-defined target market, so you are marketing to YOUR ideal clients.
You will learn very quickly that you can burn the candle at both ends trying to be everything to everybody. Focus on what you are good at, and how you can use your strengths to add value to your clients’ lives.

If you’d like to discuss your niche, and review your target market, you can book a FREE strategy session with me: BOOK ME.

 

5.   BUILD RELATIONSHIPS 

I certainly am a people person, I LOVE genuinely connecting with people (some more than others, lol). I suppose this is why I love being a coach, it’s a perfect combo.

When I first went into business for myself, it certainly was a lonely gig, so I joined in lots of local networking opportunities with like-minded business owners, so I found the real sense of belonging that I was missing. I also met some amazing business partners and strategists who to this day still help me with implementing my crazy ideas and continue growing my business. It makes the world a much better place when you have awesome people in your corner.

Another thing I strongly recommend is to collaborate with those who have strengths in areas that you may struggle with. This has been another integral part of helping me to grow my business.

If you’re interested in having a conversation about how we can help each other, I would love to chat – Tania, 0210695778

 

  1. SOCIAL MEDIA IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

You need to have an online presence! You may not have had one before, and you may not want to, but it is integral to the success of your business to have a social media presence. You need to put yourself out there. I post at least once a day on all my social media platforms, and often if I have a promo running, I will post 3 times a day. It is very unlikely that anyone will see all 3 posts, so you never have to worry about spamming people.

If you need a coach to help get you established in this area, and confident in producing quality content for your brand. I can help: BOOK ME.

 

  1. GET COMFORTABLE WITH FILMING YOURSELF

Trust me, I know how daunting the thought of this is to some of you who have never done it before. I have been there!

I actually had my own coach guide and support me through my first round of video content, I was scared as f*#! of being judged, and I put so much pressure on myself to get it perfect. Now, I can film myself anywhere, anytime and I actually enjoy it!

Your potential clients will start to form a relationship with you from your videos, they will be sussing you out, analysing whether or not you will be the “right fit” for them.

If you need a coach to help get you comfortable in this area, and smashing out your own fabulous video content, it would be my pleasure to coach you through the tips and tricks to creating content, filming, editing and producing high-quality videos. BOOK ME.

 

  1. HAVE AN AWESOME WEBSITE

This certainly helps with credibility!

I was very lucky to have an awesome effective and affordable and website built for me.
It’s also important to constantly update your website as your business evolves, as your offers grow.
Another awesome function I have is an online booking system, I love how easy it is for my clients to book and pay online for the services they require, it’s so efficient and streamlined.

YOU can have an AWESOME new website for your business too, for $1597! Click now to get started.

 

  1. KEEP INVESTING IN YOURSELF

The person I am today, is sooooooooo different to the person I was a year ago! I have been fortunate enough to invest in my own training and development. I used to be one of those people who would say “I can’t afford that”, “I don’t have the money for that” now I’m the one who says “How can I make that happen”, “How can I move money around, so I can do that training”?!

You WILL get left behind if you keep doing what you’ve always done. Times are changing – rapidly and we need to move with the times. When you run your own business there is NO ROOM FOR SHRINKING VIOLETS. Get out of your comfort zone, and the more you do it, the easier it gets.

 

  1. STOP TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING YOURSELF!

When you start your business you’ll be doing everything yourself. You’re the CEO, Finance Director, Operations Manager, Secretary, Marketing Manager, and every other role needed to make your business work.

You’ll be learning new skills, new ways of thinking and new ways of being. It’s exciting AND it’s a big challenge. However, there comes a time when you will literally burn yourself out, especially if you are doing stuff that you don’t necessarily enjoy doing.

I’m in a position now where I value my time, and if someone can do the job faster and more efficient than I can, then I am going to pay them for their contribution. It’s a win/win, especially if it’s allowing my more quality time to spend with my kids

As long as you run your own business, there will ALWAYS be more to do than time allows, so you MUST learn to prioritise and focus on what YOU are good at and what will generate money.

If you’d like to discuss your business and reviewing YOUR priorities, you can book a FREE strategy session with me: BOOK ME.

 

  1. ALL ABOUT THAT TESTIMONIAL LIFE

Don’t take my word for it, listen to what my clients are saying!

Your potential clients want to know how you can make a difference in their lives, they want to hear the positive stories from real people.  They want to hear how you have made an impact on others.
Whenever you can, you should be asking for testimonials from all those clients you have helped along the way. This is GOLD.

Don’t be afraid to blow your own trumpet, you are AWESOME at what you do, so let everyone know how awesome you are!

 

  1. GET COMFORTABLE WITH MAKING MONEY

We all have to earn a crust as the bills don’t pay themselves.

Yes, when we are starting out, we do A LOT of practise runs for FREE, and we may have that self doubt that creeps in and we need to keep it at bay. BUT we need to draw a line in the sand and start to value OUR time. Most of us have years of life and business experience, and some of us have invested substantial amounts of money in ourselves to get us to this point, so there comes a time when we need to see a return on our investment.

The purpose of running a business is to make money, and to make money from helping people is such a fantastic reward, so be PROUD of that.

If you’d like to discuss your money mindset, and review your financial goals, you can book a FREE strategy session with me: BOOK ME.

 

WRAP-UP

No-one said it was going to be easy. But if you implement some of the tips and tricks I’ve mentioned above, you are sure to see some wins!

Tania Carr – tania@thecoachinghub.co.nz
Website – www.thecoachinghub.co.nz
Instagram – @thecoachinghubnz
Facebook – @TheCoachingHubNZ

 

Top 10 Benefits of Transformational Coaching

Top 10 Benefits of Transformational Coaching

No matter which stage of life you find yourself in, the benefits of transformational coaching are wide-ranging and can leave a lasting positive impact. Working with a coach can help you to develop both as an individual and in your career, opening the door towards increased confidence, performance and more.

Coaching is often a very enlightening process, but what exactly can you expect from working with us? While every coach will bring their own unique style to the table, we take pride in offering a partnership that leaves you with a keen self-awareness and heightened emotional intelligence.

Here are the top 10 benefits of transformational coaching.

A Safe Place to Gain Perspective

Having a coach gives you a safe space to go and talk through sensitive issues without feeling held back or intimidated by someone in your own organisation.

Feel Empowered

Because the coaching process is driven by you, you are in control and empowered to visualise, create, and choose the route to get to the destination of your choice.

Deeper Level Learning

Through coaching, you can learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible, as we use targeted questions and open discussions to unlock your full potential.

Increasing your energy

Do you ever feel split in too many directions? You come home and all you want to do is sleep? Let us take an objective view of your situation so you can prioritise your calendar and rediscover your excitement for work.

Present and Future-focused

Our coaching, unlike therapy, is not concerned with the past. Instead, we operate with a clean-slate mentality, removing the focus on negative emotions or past experiences and helping you to understand that anything is possible.

Holding You Accountable

A key benefit of coaching is the ability for us to hold you accountable in achieving your goals, providing constant support and encouragement to keep moving forward.

Improving relationships

Coaching can help you identify problem areas in your relationships and understand which direction you’d like to take them in.

Improving Your Health and Changing Your Habits

Utilising an outside perspective can allow you to step back and look objectively at any negative influences in your life. This could include cutting out bad habits, changing your diet or taking more time away from the office to achieve a better work/life balance.

Increased Engagement

When you become engaged with your workplace, you can contribute more effectively to the team. This engagement also helps to increase your productivity and job satisfaction, benefiting your career in the long run.

Celebrating the Wins

A coach is an enthusiastic ‘cheerleader’, supporting you throughout your journey, helping you celebrate the small wins as well as the big achievements. This helps keep to keep you motivated and empowered to complete your goals.

 

Transformational coaching is an investment – in yourself, in your career and in the happiness of your future. If you’re ready to take a leap and change your life, please feel free to reach out to us any time.

Top 10 Benefits of Transformational Coaching
Copyright 2022, The Coaching Hub, All rights reserved

LET'S CONNECT! tania@thecoachinghub.co.nz
+64 210 695778

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